Humor Column

Dear Rix: A British scientist wants to create a 99% man and 1% rabbit. Who would want a rabbit as part of the family? They would have a house full of little bunnies running around within a year. – Violet, New York

Poor Rix used to have a rabbit, but it escaped from its cage, and ran head first into a large cat. Now Poor Rix has no hare.

Poor Rix is curious about a man-rabbit hybrid. Could he run fast? Could he hear better? Would he snack on carrots at work?

Would a man-rabbit want to live indoors? Would he – like a love-starved bachelor – try to escape to return to the wild?

Here are two other reasons Poor Rix would not want to be part man-part rabbit. Most rabbits live 12 years or so. Poor Rix is well past that, and is not in a hurry to take the dirt nap.

And many experts say male rabbits should be neutered. The very thought of this makes Poor Rix hop for a hiding place.

Poor Rix: Here’s a pre-Thanksgiving question. How old is the turkey species? – Anthropologist

Scientists say birds similar to turkeys originated during the Pliocene era, nearly 3 million years ago. Others say they’re distant cousins to a pheasant-like fowl who roamed the world 7 million years before that.

If any birds remain from that time, they’re old and wrinkled now…and would look terrible in tank-tops.

Rix Quinn -- who wrote the book "Baby Boomers Speak!" -- welcomes your questions at rixquinn@charter.net.